Shopping addiction

 Now on to my shopping addiction, that suddenly doesn't seem so hard to tackle, all things considered.

I feel really embarrassed to say this, because it makes me seem like the most shallow, vapid, dumb overconsumer ever (which I might actually be), but I LOVE SHOPPING. I love spendin' ma' coin. I just love it. Obviously I have times when my addiction isn't as present, but clearly this isn't one of them. 

Yesterday I spent hours on Vinted (again), then just browsing online. It pains me to say this, and I mean paaaaaaiiins me to admit this on the internet, but I'll even go as far as just looking up "cute things" on google to see what else I could have when I'm out of ideas. That's how bad it is. But for the Planet's sake, I'm not rich or even close to it. Which again, I hate to admit, but thank God I don't have a lot of money! The Lord knows I would absolutely blow it :')

And you know what, I'm not even that dumb or stupid! I watch the videos on youtube and the documentaries, I make up strategies in my head about how I can shop less or not shop at all. But sneaky as a sneaky snake, the Overconsumption of it all shows up on my doorstep, looking like the package for the order I made 'cause the sale was just too good to pass out on. Or I really needed that. Or whatever bs excuse I used this time. 

But as I was thinking about everything, suddenly I decided I have had enough. I really really want to change. So I have to do something about it.

Today, the 26th of October 2026, I have decided to go 1 month without shopping. Because I don't think I have actually done it, like ever. I always find a way to convince myself into buying. And that's enough. I don't want to be like this anymore. I feel disgusted at myself. I'm doing the planet a dessirvice. And myself. 

So, starting today, until the 26th of November (wich I know isn't very impressive), I Catalina, won't buy sh*t. Food is not included, because I do need to feed myself, but everything else is out. And even that I have, since my work includes food being provided to me. So I really don't need many extras. 

I will give myself the grace of allowing eating out, or spending on whatever, when my friend comes to visit me on one weekend. And that is it. 

I need to grow up and grow a pair. Life is treacherous and sometimes unkind, and there won't allways be someone to save me. Or there shouldn't. I need to learn how to manage money. And the frustration that comes along with not spending it. Luckily and to my own downfall, I'm spoiled when it comes to my wants and needs being met, in terms of material goods I mean. And now I need to change, learn from my mistakes and become better.

I don't want to feel ashamed when I buy something. I don't want to have to hide my next purchase so the people around me (and rightfully so) don't give me sh*t for it. I don't want to count my money to see what else it can and cannot buy. To choose whether I save it or spend it even. I want to have a better relationship with money. And have at least one less thing to always be stressing about. 

So my dear 3 readers, you will help me. And I will help myself. I will come here, and be honest about what I spend every day (or hopefully not spend) and on what. And I will actually think about it. Not only write it down to never look at again. 

If you struggle with addiction, let's do this together. (yes I know that sounds very dramatic because there are people dying Kim, but this is my blog and I can do what I want, and also I just need to shut up).

1 Month. Wish me luck.

xoxo,

Catalina